Thursday, March 31, 2011

Loves It



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If this city had less potholes, infinity handrails, no stairs, no ramps, no creepy dudes, and "sidewalk pillows" I would go so far as to learn how to bike in these Finsk wedges.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Architectural Digest

Mara Katrantzou is available on Net-a-Porter and Far Fetch
Can't afford it now, but one day I'd like to have one of her pieces.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Foot binding

Thanks, Etsy! This is horrible!
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Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Cover


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Found this record on Etsy. I liked it cos there's a cat on the cover. Thanks to Youtube I can check out what this band sounds like... and they sound like pretty good '70s heavy metal. They're a Welsh band, and it seems like Metallica and Maiden have ripped them off / were heavily influenced as Budgie formed in 1967.

Breadfan is so good. It sounds like he's singing "Red Vine" though.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Title Line



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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE

Have you seen this?!?!

I've never experienced anything that CLEARLY did not want the viewer to keep watching quite like this movie did. I felt as if Battlefield Earth was going out of it's way to never have female viewers, or anyone who gives a shit about movies in any capacity. At first it was challenging, being so boring and inconsistent and insulting and unbelievably bad, so I went along for the ride cos it's known for being one of the worst movies ever, but I experienced so many wtf moments that my mind stopped working and the idea of cleaning my apt seemed awesome. CLEANING MY APT WAS MORE APPEALING.

This movie obviously rips off Blade Runner and Star Wars. One could be half asleep and contemplating how they always end up sweeping their apt floors first, then start dusting the surfaces, and still notice the blatant ripping-off.

1. The ICONIC scene in Blade Runner where the stripper replicant is chased and then shot by Harrison Ford and falls through glass wall after glass wall in slow motion (in an awesome clear trench coat)... is sadly reimagined in all it's slow-motion glory.

2. The final battle scenes are a complete ripoff of the ICONIC Trench Run of Star Wars... but without the force or a real understanding of why the battle is happening in the first place, and the whole time you're enraged by the fact that grunting, pelt-wearing cavemen learned in a week to fly planes that have been sitting unused and rusting and needing fuel and maintenance in hangers for a thousand years.

3. The main glass building had the same exact look and feel of the ICONIC Tyrell Corporation building from Blade Runner. My brain actually shut off in anger due to this particular unoriginality.

Anyway, this movie has one positive thing going for it – it would make a great drinking game for anytime you see a side swipe, Dutch angle, pointless slow motion, a character says "man animal" "leverage" "rat brain" or John Travolta maniacally laughs.

So, basically, with all it's faults, it's the most brilliant piece of shit ever.


It was hard to decide on which layout, but I think for Fake Criterions, simpler is usually better. I found all the images and background texture with google image search and the fonts are Dodger (free sci-fi font) and either Arial or Helvetica Neue that I had to stretch out to vertically to resemble Dodger.

Also, Battlefield Earth is the subject of this week's episode of How Did This Get Made. I don't think they've freaked out more over a movie. With all the abundance of wrong there is to talk about concerning this movie's existence, they could have easily had an extended "overdrive" episode.

The overuse of the word LEVERAGE  halfway through this movie came out of nowhere and by that time I had already realized I was out of toilet bowl cleaner AND I had no new sponges to clean the sink full of dirty dishes, so I *kinda* cared, but not really. The leveragenation reminded me of this KITH sketch...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Wasted Words - Overrated


New episode of Wasted Words is up - and we're going back to a weekly schedule. The topic was the use (or misuse) of the word "overrated". I had the word of the week! Which makes me feel important!

Something that is underrated:
Living in NYC

Something that is overrated:
Living in NYC

Something that is gross:
Domino's Breadbowl Pasta™

For this episode I was drinking white wine and eating tiny oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's, they come about 50 or so to a clear plastic tub. For future episodes, I plan to step up the creativity of my consumption and make some cocktails. I should get a beginners barware set with a cocktail shaker and strainer. I used to walk past those sets in stores and think to myself, "now there is something I'd never ever buy..."

So, here's to never ever!
{photos: I dunno, some old lady having a good time back when one could smoke on a plane, everyone wore glasses, planes had curtains, and photobombing wasn't called photobombing, The Black Cat 1966, and Old Acquaintance 1943}

OMG I LOVE HORROR MOVIES WITH BRICKED UP WALLS!


Stumbled upon this movie blog - I love it - True Classics: The ABCs of Classic Film

Yep.